… To ALWAYS be on time” said one man to his wife. Trust is not as simple to understand as everyone thinks. The first step is to define what we’re really talking about. The man who doesn’t trust his wife to be on time always, may in fact trust her with his life. Let’s be certain we know how we are using the term trust and find a way to talk about it before creates problems.

People will often say “I don’t trust you” but what they really mean is I don’t trust you to be on time or to deliver a report when you said you would or be accountable to things that perhaps you’re not even agreed upon.

I don’t trust you often ends up being received as character assassination. However, in my experience it’s usually the expression of frustration and a request to make things better.

Trust is the foundation of virtually all relationships. Be very careful about saying or thinking, “I don’t trust you”. If you’re not clear on what you’re saying, it may be a slippery slope towards the kind of character assassination that undermines your relationship(s) and moves you into a smaller and smaller world of quiet, smug superiority… all by your self.